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I keep your tears in a glass jar,
Memories flowing like a river
Down the side, streaking the glass
With stripes of every emotion
You managed to evoke in the
Presence of my wounded heart,
Making sure I won't be so sad and
Gloomy, bringing the sunshine
Back to my life again, and again,
And again.

I keep your love by my heart,
Squeezed between my lungs,
So everytime I think of you, you
Take my breath away, quite
Literally; it isn't poetic license
Or hyperbole, and it sure as Hell
Isn't a metaphor, quite literally
Everytime I see you, I feel as if
All the oxygen in the world had
Been stuffed in my heart.

I keep your smiles in my wallet,
And carry it around everywhere
I go, right next to my driver's permit
And my school ID, my identity
Belonging to you, you little
Identity theft, my little crook, stealing
My heart and placing it behind your
Bed or inside your backpack, showing
Your friends that you are mine and
I am yours.

I keep your laugh in my mind,
And a block of lead around my heart,
Keeping me tethered to reality
And making sure I don't drift away
Into the darkness of space, of where
Our only neighbor's will be Halley and
Dione, circling us, orbiting us, reminding us
That maybe we're not as crazy as we thought
We were, and maybe we should stop keeping
Memories so hidden away.
Life is like a butterfly collection, different in every way.

Featured Here:
:iconxinsomniakydx: ~xinsomniakydx's collection, Pictures & Writing of the Day. [link]

:iconkaz-d: ~Kaz-D's collection, Love Lit Issue Ten. [link]
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:iconthroughshining:
Throughshining Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2010
A beautiful piece, flowing perfectly and effortlessly. Well done!
Reply
:iconbipolarbeardisorder:
BipolarBearDisorder Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for reading it, and for the kind words!
I'm glad you liked it. :]
Reply
:iconflawedfairytale:
flawedfairytale Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2010  Student Writer
This is so beautiful, especially the first stanza in particular. The imagery is perfect, the presence of water really presents the emotion well. A well constructed piece!
:iconxpose-it:
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:iconbipolarbeardisorder:
BipolarBearDisorder Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for reading it, and for giving such great feedback! :]

If you don't mind me asking, would you say that stanza is the strongest, or everything else was a little weaker? Every question I ask builds me as a writer. :D
Reply
:iconflawedfairytale:
flawedfairytale Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2010  Student Writer
I think it's just personal preference really, I liked your use of liquid description with regards to love, because I feel it fits it soso well! The others are of equal value, just if I had to choose it would be the first. Hope that helps! :heart:
Reply
:iconbipolarbeardisorder:
BipolarBearDisorder Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I get what you mean. Love kind of spills everywhere, gets a little messy and very slippery. At the same time, it can be held in any container no matter how big or small, is refreshing and cooling, and is the main reason why people live. :]
Reply
:iconflawedfairytale:
flawedfairytale Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2010  Student Writer
Awh. That's just beautiful. :heart:
Reply
:iconbipolarbeardisorder:
BipolarBearDisorder Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Aw shucks. Thanks again! :]
Reply
:iconlittleshireling:
littleshireling Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2010
Some really gorgeous images in this. I love it very much.
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:iconbipolarbeardisorder:
BipolarBearDisorder Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :]
Reply
:icone-hands:
e-hands Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2010
This is lovely..just enough imagery to make it interesting and really nice without weighing it down (:
Reply
:iconbipolarbeardisorder:
BipolarBearDisorder Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for reading.
And if you don't mind me asking, what constitutes as "too much imagery," in your own opinion?
Reply
:icone-hands:
e-hands Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2010
erm, i guess when you end up with too many ideas within a piece of writing, and it becomes disjointed or distracts away from the central idea(s), so it doesn't quite fit together.
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:iconbipolarbeardisorder:
BipolarBearDisorder Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, okay, it makes perfect sense. Thanks for helping me out with that. :]
Because sometimes I think I use too much imagery, and think that I might need to crank down the dial a bit.
Reply
:iconwinding-silence:
Winding-Silence Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2010
This is wonderfully written, and very sweet. :clap:
Reply
:iconbipolarbeardisorder:
BipolarBearDisorder Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for reading, I'm glad you liked it. :]
Reply
:icononahighway:
onahighway Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2010
this is a pretty sweet poem. It perfectly encaptures that feeling of young and first loves.

My only suggestion to you, is maybe consider not capitalizing the first word of every sentence and/or using periods more often. I found the flow to be a little choppy at times and I think either suggestion would make a fine solution to that.

As is with writing though, its your work, so anything I say is mere suggestion. Well done!
Reply
:iconbipolarbeardisorder:
BipolarBearDisorder Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for reading it, and thanks for the good suggestion.
I think you can call this choppy, run-on writing as my style of writing; if you read alot of my other pieces, you can see I'm always doing this kind of "stream of conscience" writing, of where it sounds like you're reading my mind right as I'm thinking of something, unfiltered and crude.
Of course, maybe this is just me coming up with an excuse for my shortcomings, but I'm more or less proud of this kind of writing that I've come to call my own.
But maybe I should start to write a little more differently, expand myself, you know?

Well, either way, thanks much for reading it. :]
Reply
:icononahighway:
onahighway Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2010
there is nothing wrong with writing the way that feels best to you. Ultimately, there is no right or wrong way to write. We all have our own unique voices and styles and no one should tell us how to dictate them. If my suggestion doesn't appeal to you (as it seems that it doesn't) then that is fine. Keep writing what feels right to you! I like to think our unique "flaws" in our stories and styles is what keeps things interesting and honest.
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:iconbipolarbeardisorder:
BipolarBearDisorder Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
No, I totally understand what you were saying, and I know that it can be a little choppy and such. But with people like you, helping me become a better writer, then I can grow and flourish as a writer.
And I agree with what you mean with "flaws." If everything was perfect, well, that would be totally boring and would make deviantART a wasteland of talent. :]
Reply
:icononahighway:
onahighway Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2010
awesome, i'm glad we're on the same page with everything! Its a great thing to be open to improvement!
Reply
:iconcreativelycliche:
creativelycliche Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2010  Professional Writer
"I keep your smiles in my wallet,
And carry it around everywhere
I go, right next to my driver's permit"

-My favorite lines. Very nice (=
Reply
:iconbipolarbeardisorder:
BipolarBearDisorder Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for reading it!
And what specifically do you like about that line? It'd be really interesting to know what made that line your favorite. And it'd make me a better writer overall. :]
Reply
:iconcreativelycliche:
creativelycliche Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2010  Professional Writer
Hmm. hard to say specifically- I suppose I love the idea of keeping smiles- it seems so utterly ridiculous and perfectly mundane at the same time. It comes across to me as a sort of metaphor about how happiness really can be carried with you, and that you just have to know where you keep it.

I'm really not very good at critiquing art (of any medium), so I'm sorry if I'm not really giving you what you're looking for ^^;
Reply
:iconbipolarbeardisorder:
BipolarBearDisorder Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, don't worry, that was a great critique.
I get what you're talking about, something we all do all the time, even if it is a little crazy. We all keep someone else in our heart, in our mind, and in our wallets and purses when we live our life.

Thanks for the help. :]
Reply
:iconcreativelycliche:
creativelycliche Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2010  Professional Writer
No problem (=
Reply
:icondarkangel-flametear:
DarkAngel-FlameTear Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2010
No problem it was brilliant! But I couldn't fave it :( it said there was an error or something! I'll keep trying though it's worth it :)
Reply
:iconbipolarbeardisorder:
BipolarBearDisorder Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I'm just very thankful that you read it!
Reply
:icondarkangel-flametear:
DarkAngel-FlameTear Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2010
That is wonderful, I love it! A definate fave!
Reply
:iconbipolarbeardisorder:
BipolarBearDisorder Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so much for reading it. :)
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